Your Holiday Survival Guide

Unbelievably, the holiday season has returned again. It feels like just yesterday was back-to-school season, and here we are, up to our necks in turkey and mashed potatoes, shivering in the blustery cold weather. This time of year tends to be a mixed bag for many. It can bring joy, hope, and optimism through delicious meals, time spent with family, beautiful decor, and anticipation for happy memories. It can also bring an increase in stress, however, due to immense pressures of preparing food, hosting guests, traveling, navigating crowded roads and stores, spending money, and engaging with family who may not be your ideal companions. For others, it can be a time of profound loneliness and grief due to family estrangement or conflict, coping with the loss of a family member, or battling seasonal mood symptoms. For many, it can be a whirlwind mix of all of the above. Let's go over a few quick tips to help navigate this assortment of emotions and make the most of the holiday season.

1. Be Present: The busyness and pressure of this time of year can make us feel pulled in many different directions. It often feels like there is always something to do, someone to see, a gift to buy, a meal to prepare, a terrible driver to shout at. Before we know it, it's the new year and the holiday season passed by in a blink. Carving out mental space to be fully present with family, friends, pets, food, and any other joys this time of years can bring is incredibly important. Notice when you have been succumbing to pressure and stress, not being fully attentive with those around you. Practice putting aside the to-do lists, racing thoughts, perfectionism, and high expectations to just be. Practice a guided meditation in the mornings to set the tone for your day. Yoga or mindful walking can also help you remain centered. At the end of the day, the joy, connection, and fun memories  will be remembered and cherished - not the pesky little details.
2. Set Boundaries: Those with not-so-perfect family relationships (aka, ummm, everyone?), this one is for you. I encourage you to feel empowered to set boundaries with those in your life, especially people who cause you distress or create toxic environments. Spending time with people who are not good to be around simply because "that's what we do every year" does not translate to an obligation on your end. Think about your needs and how you can ensure that you will take care of yourself. You might consider limiting the time you spend with the family that day. Or, if things become uncomfortable, come up with exit strategies to get space - help out in the kitchen, go outside for a breather, or play with the dog/cat/hamster for a while. If holiday gatherings are always unpleasant, maybe it's time to make yourself a new tradition! Look around for shelters, soup kitchens, or nursing homes to volunteer for the day. Call up a friend and tag along to their family dinner. Whatever the solution, you have the right to set limits and boundaries to take care of yourself. 
3. Get Support: For some, the holiday season can bring about some difficult emotions due to grief and hardship. Living in isolation or estrangement from family can cause deep loneliness. The holidays can also make grief - even from years ago - feel fresh again. If you are in this camp, it is important to reach out for support. Stay in touch with friends or family that are encouraging and empathetic listeners. Let people know when you are having an especially difficult time - even a brief interaction can lighten the burden of sadness. Look into securing a therapist to support you. Keep up with self-care routines and coping skills. Take a hot bath, a brisk walk, or read a good book. You may even consider getting away for a while - a day trip or even a vacation might be enough to shake up your typical holiday routine and the struggle that comes with it. Remember that you are worthy and loved, even if it feels far away sometimes. 

​What helps you get through the holiday season in one piece? Share your thoughts in the comments. Wishing you a joyful and mindful season!